I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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