Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize