Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
