Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
