Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
