Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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