He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
