I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
