Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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