nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
cat food counts as protein by the way
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
