I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize