My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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