You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
