I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you win again, gameday.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i need some magic done to my vagina
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