I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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