god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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