6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize