I think im going to throw up on grandma
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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