PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
