I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize