if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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