I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
