I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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