You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
