Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
