so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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