what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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