Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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