Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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