Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
