just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize