I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
