can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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