he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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