But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
