good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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