Its about making memories worth repressing
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This toilet bowl is my home.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
