why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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