We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
