im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
false alarm, still single
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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