Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
