I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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