I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
