If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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