So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i dont even know how to be here
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
