I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize