My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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