yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
