I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize