i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
