I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
