It's Friday. Sex?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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