remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
