dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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