Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
