a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You ruined the universe
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
