don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It was confusing and full of hummus
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
