If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
