Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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