): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
