hell yes lets make some ravioli
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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