I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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