u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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