Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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