problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
