no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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