I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize