I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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