8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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