Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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