How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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