I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize