sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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