There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
