does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
